A thought has been haunting me after reading my friend’s blog and I’ve been so haunted by that thought I wasn’t able to get any peace for the past few days. I had a meaningful talk with my other friend and now have come to the realisation that I’m going to scare away my friend. If my friend wants to leave me I should respect his decision. Just like my other friend who caused me great pain for leaving me. Not exactly left me but distanced away slowly. What if I was the one who distanced first. UGH I’M ALWAYS BEING SO SELFISH WHY. I shall not try to control anyone but its hard not to she was so dear to me and now him. Why do I only appreciate ppl once they are almost gone but isn’t that the same for everyone. I guess not. He was and is suffering so much and I haven’t done a single thing for him, no wonder he would want to leave me. WHAT AM I TALKING ABT HE HASN’T EVEN LEFT ME FUCKKKKKKKED I SWEAR THAT’S MY BRAIN 


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