30 March 2017

I hung out with my friends again. I had fun but I kept spacing out, don’t feel grounded at all. Kinda wished for all of us to be able to hang out but that’s sorta greedy of me. I really wished I could help my other friends and be involved in their life somehow. I can see my friend trying to make a conversation with me but I’m not sure why we couldn’t keep the convo going. I guess maybe I wasn’t feeling it. Something kept interfering my mind. My friend told me before that I should just be myself even if the now me is different from the past me but everyone changes and so do I even if its for the worse. I should just accept who I am now but I can’t, it’s so challenging. My past me could make friends easily, cheer up someone easily, lead easily and doesn’t have psychosis. The now me seems so useless, I can barely help myself how do I expect myself to help others.

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