Crushed : A visit to the doctor’s office

Ever since a few months ago , I’ve not been taking my medicine seriously and regularly. I felt that since its the holiday which means I’m usually at home , it would be okay to reduce the intake by a lot………………….plus its expensive.However I didn’t factor in the amount of “hallucinations” and “delusions” that are surfacing

A symptom of psychosis : thinking that other people can read your mind , I could remember appearing way back when I was still at prom which has become more significant as weeks pass by. I only noticed this when the  doctor asked me hence making me fear the outcome and made me take it regularly once again 😦 OH DEAR

I’ve learned that all kinds of drugs WILL be harmful to you no matter  whether the side effect shows up or not.Food that are not naturally produced  are not healthy but what choice do I have if I wish to recover. Will I need to rely on medication all my life? Discreet feelings of sadness crept its way around the light , surrounding it , strangling it . Crack , an opportunity , it slips in striking the core , impacting the whole system . Its  almost as if psychosis is just waiting by the corner knowing it has full control over me , I can only succumb to its will and be taunted forever .HAHHHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHhahHAHHHH hopefully not ;p

When I started heading for bed I noticed my stomach feeling uncomfortable , not sure if its because I ate something weird or my psychological well-being .Gut-brain connection  I wasn’t able to sleep side ways and top it off woke up at 7+ in the morning . Had a terrible dream last night too , it was about someone I had a crush on and basically I just chose him over my friend and he ended up giving hope on me because in real life I had always avoided him in fear of hurting my friends . It appears that even in my dream I still made the same mistake.How badly I wish I could turn back time.


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