Early Morning Thoughts

Currently 6:20 am and am not able to sleep due to being too FREAKING EXHILARATED about my trip to visit Singapore poly and Temasek Poly today. Btw the selection of schools to visit on the same day is dreadful as they are directly opposite of each other on the Singapore mrt (Mass Rapid Transit) map. Singapore Polytechnic is at Dover whilst Temasek Polytechnic is at Tampines 

I’ve been thinking a lot about my O lvl results this early morning and it’s after conversing with my friend who took his N lvls that I realise how BADLY I WANT AN 18 for my Elr2B2-D (English, relevant 2 subjects, Best 2 subjects – Business) . He basically didn’t do that well for his GCE N(A) level (General Certificate of Education Normal Academic Level) and had to go to ITE (The Institute Of Technical Education) but he tragically fucked up by choosing courses that he had little of to no interest in , HE WOULD NOT TELL ME THE REASON WHY HE DID and now is currently appealing for another set of 12 courses to apply in . I BELIEVE in the existence of God and a higher power and the Law of attraction but IF 😩😩😩 I don’t make it to polytechnic it’s either I repeat one year or got to ITE and a lot of my friends suggests repeat since an O lvl certificate is better and you only need to repeat one year whereas in ITE you need to spend about 2-3 years. HOWEVER I HATE GOING BACK TO SECONDARY SCHOOL, I mean the teachers and staff at my school are super caring and friendly and kind and respectable…………….. but the students there….are just typical students except for a special few but they do typical things like outcast you if you are weird or have no charm and basically bully you if they are bored and so forth 

I PRAY SINCERELY WITH ALL MY HEART TO PLEASE GET INTO THE COURSE I WANT, I JUST KNOW I’M MEANT FOR IT.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Haish what am I doing with my life , I always thought to myself if I didn’t have anxiety how would my life be and how I longggggggg to return to my old self again but having that mindset won’t change anything won’t help me either so I might as well just start my progress from my current standing. Also a tip for those who have anxiety try not to control everything I know it’s because you at afraid (fear does a lot to our mind) AND ITS WAY MORE DIFFICULT THAN IT SOUNDS but you just have to breathe and relax, unclench your muscles, run to a safe corner and close your eyes. Do a couple of breathing exercises and than return to “reality” by facing it head-on

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